This Language Was Not Derived From A Greater Language Family.Korean Long-Distance Cross-Culture Relationship Advice

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Long-Distance Cross-Culture Relationship Advice

Lindsey and Juo met when Lindsey was studying abroad at Ewah Woman University in Seoul, South Korea back in 2015. She was there to study for a year when Juo sent her a message on Instagram. Lindsey was hesitant at first but decided it would be a great way to make friends in Korea. After several visits to visit friends, Juo asked Lindsey to be his girlfriend on his birthday in November or 2015. Since Lindsey returned to the US in June 2016, he has been in a long relationship with Lindsey living in Florida with Juo. lives in South Korea. They see each other every four months for two months at a time. Giving their best in the relationship and using the distance to make their hearts grow better. Lindsey and Juo will both graduate from college this December and Lindsey plans to return to Korea in July 2018 after applying to become an English teacher there.

Questions for Him

On our first day…

I honestly kept thinking about all the things that could happen… and the worst case scenario being a scene straight out of the movie “Taken”. He walked to my school and waited patiently for me with flowers and a heartfelt letter. We grabbed lunch, tried to talk- but nerves got the better of us, and then we went shopping for winter coats because I didn’t know how to prepare for winter after spending my whole life in Florida.

During the first few months of dating, my contract breaker was…

any lie. If you are not honest at the beginning of our relationship, then it is a recipe for instability later on. Other (stupid) things for me would be eating with your mouth…

I learned that He is right for me when…

He told me that he will always take care of me and no matter how long it takes, he will wait for the day when we can be together. His commitment sealed the deal.

I had a cultural shocker when…

we decided to wear multiple outfits for the first time! In America it is not known that couples show each other like this by wearing matching clothes so when we did it I thought it was fun but I LOVED it right away. Now, I feel like Juo and I match some part of our wardrobe more often than not and we both enjoy it!

3 things I love about Him are…

the way he cares about me. They always ask me if I ate or how my sleep was. He gives me his coat when it’s cold or his shoulder when I feel tired. For example, we were walking home on the subway one night after a long day and Juo had taken the time to use his jacket to cover my legs so I could sit comfortably in my skirt and rest my head on his shoulder.

The second is that he understands me. He takes time to listen and understand what I have to say. He listens to me and tells me everything is fine and leaves it at that. He does not let our language differences stand in the way. If he wants to explain more, he asks and doesn’t say don’t get upset or give up and for me it’s important.

Third, he gives everything to our relationship. He always thinks about our future and speaks freely. He is comfortable when he is with me and he shows me his love constantly. There was never a moment when I didn’t hear his true feelings or intentions. For example, one recent topic we’ve been grappling with is the idea of ​​getting a dog or cat when I move to Korea. It may seem like a simple topic but it is planning a part of our future and want to grow together.

The most common misconceptions about his country and culture were…

the idea that Korean boys in Korea cannot see a relationship with a foreigner as real. I was always told to be careful and that they might see you as an easy target or something fun to brag about to their friends.

The best thing he ever did for me was…

Create a personalized photo book of all your memories of our first year together. As a one-year gift to me, Juo made a huge book full of photo after photo of all the photos we did together. They had the dates written on all the pages and a little caption for each picture. I couldn’t believe they made something like that and for me, it was the most special thing I’ve ever received because I could see all the time and love they put into it. It is something I will cherish forever.

The second was that he proudly waited for me at the airport with the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen and we both fought back tears as we hugged for the first time in months. Seeing the love of your life standing there waiting for you with a big smile on their face is one of the best moments anyone in a long-term relationship can have. Those moments are precious.

In this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…

that I can be patient and I can say that I learned the meaning of showing love in ways beyond physical actions. Love shows in the words you say to each other and the effort you give each day. I know distance is only an issue in dating if you are dating. I have become a patient person and now I understand that waiting is just part of our journey. Juo and I are in this for the long haul and if that means waiting months on end then so be it. To be honest, it was a skill I lacked in the past but this relationship has changed.

If there is any advice I can give to my fellow Western girls in the AMWF relationship who might be…

to be the infinite self. There is no limit to how much you can learn about another person’s culture. There is no limit to becoming a better person without changing who you are. Finally, there will be no limit to who you find love and connection with. Know that it’s okay to embrace people of different races, ethnicities, religions, and cultures because no one says you have to find love in a certain person or thing.

Questions for Him

His first question was…

entertainment. I saw her for the first time on Instagram and thought she was so cute that I had to message her. After talking for some time, I couldn’t wait to meet him in person, I just got up the courage to ask him where!

I learned that He deserves me when…

He told me he would love me forever. Some people think it’s easy to say but for me, that’s a very special thing because I can really feel his feelings. And he always knows how to surprise me. For example, he would send me letters for no reason and fill in our photos. He always writes me a sweet message inside.

I had a social scare when…

he told me that there is no public transportation in Florida. They said there is no subway or big buses and I was shocked! When I visited them in Florida for the first time, I realized that most people used cars so there was no need to travel.

3 things I like about him are

He loves me unconditionally. I have never felt such love and it makes me feel special. No matter what, I know he will be by my side and I will do the same for him.

He always thinks of me. He recently told me that when he talks about me or thinks about me, he will touch our family ring that we wear. I feel like we share our feelings. If I am happy I can share that happiness with him. If he is sad I can understand his sadness and I try to make him happy. He understands me, he makes me happy, he is beautiful.. how can I not love him? Sometimes I can’t believe he’s my friend!

The most common misconceptions about his country and culture were…

that I thought their diet would be similar to what I saw in movies and TV shows. I thought that when I went to America I would see everyone eating fast food or cold dinner every day, but that was not true. I will say that I think the restaurant is more popular there than in Korea but it’s not what the movies make it out to be.

The things he likes to do to have fun with me…

he walks and talks! We are busy traveling and reminiscing around the world. Every time we are together we plan a trip. Our first trip was to Tokyo, Japan in 2016! Today we are already planning our next trip when I visit her in the US. With him, there is no difficult moment. Every time we video chat or call or text each other we always laugh at something or smile at each other.

In this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…

need to understand. Having been with Lindsey for almost 2 years, I have been very understanding and a good listener. Even though he is American and I am Korean I realized that it does not affect our ability to understand each other. I feel like we know each other well because we are both interested in each other’s culture.

If there is any advice I can give to my fellow Asians in the AMWF relationship who might be…

that if you are far away now or want to be friends with someone from another country in the future I tell you not to give up! If you guys can’t be together now, you should show all your love and feelings to that person. Talk about your future. Know where you both want to be in the future and plan for that. It will keep you happy and sets a goal for both of you to work towards.

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