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The Power of Eye Contact
What is eye contact?
Several popular definitions are:
1. Eye contact is one of the most important nonverbal channels you have to communicate and connect with others.
2. Defined as a meeting of the eyes between two people expresses a significant nonverbal communication.
3. Contact that occurs when two people look directly at each other or when two people or animals look into each other’s eyes at the same time.
4. It is the condition or action of looking another human or animal in the eye.
Linda Eve Diamond:
“The cheapest and most effective way to connect with people is to look them in the eye.”
What are you doing ?
Contact can enable:
The meeting of the eye is two souls touching. Imagine, all the power of your eyes.
Of all the ways to communicate, eye contact is perhaps the most powerful. The first step in establishing communication is eye contact.
Communication with animals and animals is with visual contact, and depending on the animal that maintains or avoids contact.
Have you ever looked at a horse and known that your souls had communicated?
Have you ever looked at your dog and known that the two of you connected on a spiritual level?
My best friend and I can communicate volumes with just a glance.
So are the eyes a window to the soul? I say so.
What is the power of making eye contact?
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“An eye can threaten you like a loaded gun, or it can insult you like hissing or kicking or in its altered mood, be a bundle of goodness. It can make the heart dance with joy.”
You will probably never find the words to communicate what actually transpires when you communicate with another living creature through eye contact. Maybe it should be the “I” contact?
Besides touch, the eyes are the most powerful way to provide personal cues.
Eyes show personal involvement and create intimate bonds. Mutual gaze reduces physical gaps. People are approaching.
The eyes play an indispensable role in effective communication and building relationships.
The look of love; remember that look and the physical look when without words you know you are attracted.
What can you say with your eyes?
When you make contact, tell the other person:
I am interested in you
i respect you
I trust you
You have my attention
I value you
Then there is the avoidance of eye contact such as the elevator stare. Fear of making eye contact with strangers and wild animals. Eye contact can be perceived as a challenge and a precursor to aggression.
We test each other’s eyes for signs of mood like:
Trust can be developed almost immediately through eye contact.
Flirting a coy look can be the beginning of all kinds of things
Linking eye contact immediately brings two people closer together
Feedback on how others receive you.
Winking says you and me.
Our eyes are wonderful gifts. They help us express our feelings by:
And much more, without a word.
Not maintaining eye contact in this country carries the connotation that the person is untrustworthy.
In other countries, maintaining eye contact can be considered rude and disrespectful.
What does eye movement mean?
Contact gives you valuable clues as to what a person is thinking.
Kinesthetic people tend to look down
Visual people tend to search
Hard of hearing people tend to look sideways
People who look to the left to gather thoughts tend to be religious, artistic. They are more likely to remember.
People who look to the right tend to be scientific
People who are searching and just can be building or constituting an answer.
Eye contact can mean permission to speak or it can be a command; like when you say to someone “look at me when i talk to you”.
We demand their attention; also, that they join us on a deeper level.
People who are autistic or have social anxiety problems have trouble maintaining contact as do liars.
When might you want to make eye contact?
When you want to say hello without a word.
To exchange a cordial greeting
In store to brighten someone’s day
In an interview
At a party
Play a team sport
When might you want to avoid eye contact?
Walking down a dark road
Face to face with a bear or other predatory animal
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“One of the most wonderful things in nature is the glaze of the eye; it transcends words; it is the bodily symbol of identity.”
You can learn to maintain good contact. Practice doing it.
Make contact and smile at a stranger, it can’t hurt.
Keeping in touch helps keep you focused on what the other person is saying; rather than thinking about what you want to say.
In Western culture a shifty eyed person is judged badly; are suspicious, up to no good.
“An eye for an eye and soon the whole world is blind.”
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half closed after.”
In our society, there is a growing need for interaction. Think of the joy you can spread by making contact and a smile at the checker in the store, the person waiting, or a passerby on the street.
Send positive vibes. It is a sign of a confident person
Build self-confidence… Exercise to make contact
Copyright © Wee Dilts 2009
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