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How to Talk to a Man
Have you ever gone out for dinner or coffee with a guy you were really interested in, only to find that keeping the conversation going was a struggle?
Have you ever REALLY wanted to connect with a man on an emotional level, only to find that he wasn’t interested in talking about his feelings?
What these scenarios have in common is a basic misunderstanding of how and why men communicate. While trying to talk to a man in the same way that you want to be talked to, you may wish that you could just stop talking for a minute so that you can collect your thoughts or just enjoy being in the moment. .
It’s a complaint as old as time: men think women talk too much, while women think men talk too little.
So how can you talk to a man in a way that establishes a connection and makes him happy? In this article, I will give you three tips to improve your communication with men.
1. Allow space to think.
While we are used to jump with our thoughts and continue passionately until we are interrupted, not all men feel like they can think with a passionate woman talking to them. Say what you need to say, then stop and give him time to work things out in his head.
Don’t get upset if you have to sit in silence for a minute or two while he figures out what you mean. Don’t give yourself “the silent treatment”. It’s just processing what you said so you can give the best answer possible.
Likewise, if your man is the quiet type, avoid interrupting him. He wants to hear that you listen, and this requires sitting patiently for how long it takes to get out what he wants to say. Active listening will encourage your man to share his thoughts more often, because he knows you will hear what he has to say.
2. Be direct.
One of the biggest complaints men have about women’s communication style is that they “don’t just come up and say what they want.”
For example, most women will drop hints about what they want for a Christmas present and get upset when their partner doesn’t pick up on the clues. Men don’t like little games like this. If you keep a man guessing, he is more likely to be frustrated than to understand.
So master the art of being direct. If a guy asks you where you want to go on a date, just say you don’t care if it doesn’t matter. If there is a particular restaurant that you have left suggestions, tell them at the point that you want to go. It won’t diminish the enjoyment of the experience, I promise!
3. Draw a man out with activities, not with encounters.
There is no better way to make sure that a man gets along than to confront him with his “inadequate” communication skills. Asking a man, “Why don’t you talk to me? Why don’t you open up?” it will simply make them feel like you put them on the spot, and their stubbornness will ignite.
You have to remember that men are socialized to express their emotions through actions rather than words. A father will applaud his son for getting his aggression out of the football field, but if that son tries to talk to his father about his feelings, he will most likely be met with a white wall.
Men defend themselves when they feel they have been emotionally attacked by retreating behind what I call their “white wall”. Their faces flushed. They become emotionless, logical debaters. They try to win the argument even at the cost of injury.
Avoid triggering this defensive mechanism by using activities to draw your man out. You may want to go mini-golf, go to an amusement park, or go for a walk. The most important criterion is that it is physical; going to the cinema or to dinner does not count. Get extra points if you choose an activity that requires teamwork.
When you focus on the activity instead of the lack of communication, you may very well find that you can rebuild your intimacy as a couple without the need for words. Even better, as he experiences the satisfaction of demonstrating his skills through the activity, he can become comfortable enough to open up to you and share things that he would never have said if you sat face to face.
You can learn more about the art of interacting with men at my website, “How to be Irresistible to Men”. I’m offering a FREE 6-Part Mini-Course that will totally transform the way you relate to men. If you’re having trouble meeting GOOD men, if you’re afraid of getting hurt again, or if you’re afraid you’ll never meet the man of your dreams, this FREE mini-course will turn you on your beliefs. his head It’s never too late to claim the good relationship you’ve always wanted. Find out how to create a real connection with a man by signing up today!
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