How Many Languages Do.Not.Have Different Words For Mother Abd Father Words Have no Meaning Until You Give it to Them

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Words Have no Meaning Until You Give it to Them

You hear the word “alcoholism” and you react without emotion as you say that it is a disease that can have sad side effects. Your friend reacts with passion whenever the subject is discussed.

You share strong and definitive opinions when discussing wage inequality for women. Your friend dispassionately agrees that he is upset.

Words have no meaning. They are the symbols that the sender uses to express thoughts, beliefs and ideas and the intonation is affected by his background, values, experiences, behavioral style and knowledge. The receiver uses the same criteria to interpret the words. This is why the sender does not always receive the expected response or the same response from two people.

This is one of the principles of communication that makes the process more difficult at work and at home.

In the first example, your friend vividly remembers how his alcoholic father left when he was eight years old. He also remembers that his mother worked two jobs to pay the rent in their small apartment and that his sister was the only one home with him much of the time. You, on the other hand, have never personally experienced the disease with family or friends.

As a woman, however, you have experienced pay inequities personally and now you see that your daughter still has the same thing. It makes you angry! Your friend is a well-paid single lawyer, and his sister lives a comfortable life as a mother and housewife. Her mother worked as a cleaning lady and in a restaurant, so she thinks she was paid well for what she did. He never gave much thought to gender-equitable wages.

As these examples show, different people can react emotionally or intellectually to the same words. Sometimes, as the sender, you try to get people to respond more intellectually or more emotionally depending on your communication goal. What catches you off guard is when you think you’ve chosen your words carefully and your audience of one or a hundred reacts differently.

The sender and receiver are equally responsible for trying to complete the communication process. Here are some tips to help you in both roles.

Tips for the sender

· Intentionally avoid discriminatory language in terms of gender, race, religion and age.

· Listen carefully with your ears and eyes. Become an astute student of body language and watch for furrowed brows, crossed arms or legs and other signs that you may have disturbed the other person(s)

· If you are making a presentation to an association or company, do your research! Ask if there are any topics or words that are taboo.

Tips for the receiver,

· If feasible, clear the air immediately if a word or words concern you. If you have anger, resentment, hurt or confusion, it will ruin the rest of the interaction and maybe even future ones.

o During one of my DiSC-based communication workshops, I divided the participants into groups and asked them to list the good qualities of other behavior styles. One of the groups used the word “robotics” in what they thought was a complimentary way. The people who were described find the word unfavorable. Working together, they came up with “structured”, which was pleasant for everyone.

o In another workshop exercise that asked participants to think about words they habitually use that could be perceived differently than they intended, a man shared the following story. He’s a computer trainer and he said he started a class by saying, “Today, you’re going to get the bible of all computer training.” One of his assistants immediately said: “I’m from only one Bible, and it’s not about computers.” The man admitted he was shaken and is much more careful with his choice of words today.

· Keep your personal filter clean.

o List your prejudices and work to overcome them. Ask if they are based on race, gender, religion, age, status, educational background or others.

o Form your opinion in the moment. Do not prejudge the situations, the presenters, your co-workers or relatives or children’s reactions, a book before you have read or taste the food before you have eaten.

o Be proactive. Read books and magazines, attend seminars, listen to CDs, watch selected TV programs to help you grow personally and professionally.

· Listen carefully to everything the other person has to say even when you can’t agree.

· Wait to speak until the other person has finished.

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