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Four Types of Bonds of Love Between Man and Woman
The world is very mysterious. Every day we see many things that we take for granted without knowing how and why this happens. For billions of years, people have seen the apple fall to the ground, but they have never thought about why the apple falls to the ground and does not go up. Newton thought for the first time, that there must be a force that must be pulling Apple down to earth. This thought resulted in the discovery of gravity, the universal force of attraction that existed between all material entities of the universe since its origin. Little by little, scientists also discovered the electric and magnetic forces between electric charges and magnetic substances. However, scientists have never been able to find a satisfactory answer as to why different types of materials attract or repel?
What is true in the world of particles is also true in the world of living beings. Every species in the world is attracted towards the member of the opposite sex. Yet almost no answer as to why this is happening. All of us, as human beings, are aware of the force of attraction that pulls us towards each other, but we cannot know why it happens.
The reason for the attraction
While scientists have no reason to explain why the material attracts, but they discovered some reason for the attraction between the male and female species using the theory of evolution. They believe that the attraction between the male and female species in this world is due to their desire to mate to reproduce children. These theories are based on Darwin’s principle of evolution, as no species survives other than reproduction. However, the answer is incomplete as even after people have produced children, the forces of attraction do not diminish.
Studies show that certain physical characteristics stimulate the hypothalamus of the brain, leading to an elevated heart rate, sweating and feelings of sexual excitement. What leads to this answer? Perhaps the most obvious is a youthful appearance, which is linked to reproductive capacity. [Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. New York: HarperCollins, 1994] Women are also attracted to men for what they have to offer in terms of reproduction.
However, dull scientific research still misses the mystery of the universe. What causes heart rate, sweating and feelings to increase? These actions seem nothing short of a miracle, even though we know it happens. Einstein captured these thoughts in the following words
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.”
The index of physical attraction can be found from our understanding of physics. For example, we all know that opposite charges attract. We know that all materials are neutral in their natural state. However, they become charged when electrons are removed from the material making them positively charged while the matter that has the excess electrons are negatively charged. Therefore, opposite charges attract in such a way that they can neutralize their charges and return to their original conditions. The same explanation exists for magnetic particles.
We can also explain the attractions due to gravity using the same principles that even science believes that all matter and energy was a before the big-bang. Therefore, all matter seems to attract each other to achieve the original neutral state of matter and energy.
Using the same principle, it can be said that perhaps the attraction between the opposite sexes is due to their desire to become one as they were one in the past. We call it love as we know it exists (like gravity) but we cannot know why it exists. Since every human being is not only a body, but also the mind, soul and spirit (God), therefore there exist four types of love among the species of the human race.
1. Physical bonds: The basic instinct
The most primitive and fundamental for the love between male and female is due to the differences in their body. The physical designs are complementary to each other which attracts each other. People get satisfaction and pleasure in the company of the person of the opposite sex. Even the touch of the hand is pleasant and conveys energy and love. The reason seems to be chemical as the body shows an increased flow of body fluids and chemicals when the physical bond between men and women takes place.
The physical bond between the boy and the girl is expressed by Tina Turner is one of the songs “What’s Love Got To Do With It” that captured the imagination of billions of people around the world in the eighties.
You must understand
That the touch of your hand
It makes my pulse race
That’s just emotion
Boy meets girl
It is physical
You have to try to ignore it
That means more than that
Oh, what love has to do, has to do with him
What is love but a second-hand emotion
What love has to do, has to do with him
That needs a heart
When a heart can be broken
Physical Bonding is the oldest and most fundamental form of love between man and woman. Prostitution is considered the oldest profession in the world that humanity has discovered to exploit this attraction between male and female.
2. Mental Bonds: Friendship
While the animals only find the physical bond between the opposite sexes because they fail to raise much above the physical level, the male with his increased mental faculty has found another form of boding that unites males and females. This bond also exists between members of the same sex.
Friendship is found between people who have complementary thoughts. In the words of Mencius
“Friendship is one mind in two bodies.”
Every person’s mind wants to know what they don’t know to make themselves whole. This knowledge can be lived with someone else’s mind. Friendship arises from the desire of two people to share their thoughts so that their minds grow and become complete.
The minds of men and women are as complementary as their bodies. So every man finds a different way of looking at the world, when he sees the world through the eyes of a woman. So a man who has a good friendship with women is the epitome of “goodness” as his mind is fully grown. On the contrary, people who have no friends in the member of the opposite senses, are really evil without a doubt that their view is extremely unbalanced. All dictators and despots never had friendships with women and the list includes Hitler, Stalin and Mao, even though they had a physical bond with women. So their minds never really evolved. A person’s mind can have satisfaction, tranquility and peace only if he has friends in the members of the opposite sex.
3. Emotional Bonding: The Sense of Love
The most beautiful and powerful relationship that emerges between male and female is emotional. All emotions arise automatically in people because of the desire of the soul to become one. The souls of man and woman are complementary to each other since they originate from the same source. This is not only a philosophical truth, but also a physical truth. So they always aspire to meet each other to balance each other like opposite electric charges or magnets of opposite poles.
The emotional bond between a man and a woman is often so powerful that people even sacrifice their lives or kill themselves in their attempt to become one. Love is often called the fetal attraction because it is responsible for most of the crimes of this world.
Love is like a chemical reaction that transforms the soul of man and woman. People in love are changed from their heart because of the transformation of their soul like hydrogen and oxygen lose their identity when they combine to make a drop of water.
Love alone brings peace and happiness in people’s lives which cannot be bought with all the riches of the world.
4. Spiritual Bonding: God in all
Man and woman also share the highest level of spiritual bonds with each other. Spiritual relationship is based on non-physical relationship between people. In this type of relationship, people do not expect each other, as everyone seems to unite their identity with God or the Holy Spirit who is the origin of all the entities of the universe.
The spiritual or non-physical bond exists between people of opposite sexes in many forms. It is manifested in the form of love for mother, love for children, love for brothers and in the later stage of life even among the love of husband. Spiritual love is the final stage of love between any person when the bond evolves to its highest level. The seed of this love is always present in the person and first manifests itself in the child with his mother’s love. Gradually all other forms of love diminish and only spiritual love remains in the most evolved human beings in this world like Jesus, Buddha or Gandhi. This form of love is truly selfless and unconditional.
The evolution of the human bond
Every bond between humans can be classified into four types, viz. body, mind, soul and spirit. The journey of life begins with the spiritual bond of love that only exists in a child. However, as the body, mind and soul of the person grows in this world, the bond of love manifests itself in different forms. While in the case of animals, the link almost crosses the physical level, in humans it evolves from physical to mental to emotional and finally takes a full circle and returns to the spiritual level. Spiritual love makes a man divine and integrates him with God so that he achieves his salvation or purpose of life. The cycle of life continues until a man realizes his spiritual love with God and man.
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