Feeling Of Shame For Not Knowing Native Language Site Reddit.Com Emotional Self-Imprisonment

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Emotional Self-Imprisonment

Just imagine being given a prison sentence just because we can’t handle our emotions. Think of the public outcry! But conspire with the idea of ​​being sentenced to thirty, forty, even a sentence of fifty or sixty years! The level of public outrage over our human rights certainly dwarfs any uprising we’ve seen. Add a final insult and tag us 24 hours a day to remind us of our emotional disorders, and the rage erupts. Yet this is exactly what many of us do to ourselves. We impose a life of emotional self-imprisonment and tag ourselves!

And the metaphor becomes even more real and even more terrifying the longer it goes on.

Because of trauma, shock, injury, or abuse, we can and do feel even harder. We commit ourselves to solitary confinement, guarding our most emotional inner secrets with an extraordinary level of zeal and shame. This personal imposition can also originate from guilt, abandonment, rejection, or from humiliation, bullying or molestation.

Yet in our hearts we know that if there were ever an adequate emotional court system with judge and jury, no one would condemn us as severely as we have done for ourselves. No one found our case to warrant such a fierce punishment.

But just focus on this metaphor one more time – when we have the highest criminal prison population on record. And now reflect on the fact that a vast number of us – walking the seemingly free streets, we are also imprisoned in unresolved emotions!

And our level of commitment to the sentence can be amazing. It may involve a vow of silence and secrecy for ourselves – something we decide to take to our grave. This we can consider preferable to a mistaken belief that if we free ourselves, we will be emotionally pilloried until our death by relatives and friends, and that should be avoided at all costs!

More strangely, emotionally speaking, even when the underlying cause may not be in any way of our making or our fault, we always try to deny that to ourselves and then by compounding the denial we buy deeper into shame, humiliation and rejection as somehow. we deserved it!

That can put in the train an even more complicated and limiting behavioral thinking. We can use this misconceived buy-in as a stick to beat us harder than anyone else with the same knowledge ever would – or should. And why do we do this? Because we let ourselves think that they are our just desserts! The “tagging” is provided by our self-talk that we subconsciously encourage to reinforce our worst thoughts about ourselves.

And paradoxically we can find strength from our apparent courage and shoulder strength for ourselves, when few around us will see any sense or justification in it.

I think it is fair to say that the Time was when perhaps this emotional flogging was considered part of being human and living a human life. Not enough was known then about psychology and the impact of our thinking on behavior.

But not anymore! It is no longer true. Irrefutable psychological and behavioral truths are piled on top of each other—from one research project after another—each revealing more and more about our human nature. Still more receptions reveal to us how we can neutralize and cool our reactions to the horrible indignities we have endured.

The benefits of encouraging ourselves to end our self-incarceration, to give ourselves an emotional word and to configure emotional memories and patterns are now well documented.

Why? If for no other reason, because we know now that it is no longer necessary for us humans to endure. And it is no longer justified to inflict our emotional shortcomings on others, young or old, for them to replicate what we did and to resort to emotional self-imprisonment for themselves.

So we should at least talk about these things, share them and shamelessly seek help to understand them. We need the reality that none of us is perfect, that we are unique and most especially blessed with the ability to heal ourselves emotionally.

And if that’s not enough, then simply accept that we don’t deserve this toxic form of prison when help is now at hand. There are a number of good self-discovery books and programs available to help you find a new level of happiness.

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