Body.Language And Eye Movements.Of.Someone.With.An.Anxiety.Disorder More Great Tips For Dealing With Shyness

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More Great Tips For Dealing With Shyness

Coping with social anxiety and extreme shyness can be tough. Finding the way forward can prove hard at the best of times. However, there are a number of changes you can make right now that could go a long way in helping you live the life you deserve. Just give the following tips a try and see how you go.

1: Do not deny the fact that you are shy! Accept it for what it is. Reprogram your mental definition of shyness. Instead of looking at your shyness as a negative character trait look at it from another angle. Think of it as endearing or even cute. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it. Also be honest and up front and tell people that you are shy right off the bat, be 100% honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.

2: Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like “I like myself!” or “I am a winner!” Remember in the first e-mail of the series we discussed visualisation and how easy it is to form a habit. Using daily affirmations will force your subconscious into doing exactly what you tell it to do.

3. Dress to impress even if nobody is looking. There is a common saying that you should dress for where you want to be, not where you are right now. That is good advice. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.

4: Ask yourself why you are shy. As soon as you become aware of your anxiety stop and challenge your belief system. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help you to put everything into perspective. Always remember that things are never ever quite as bad as they first seem.

5. This may sound silly but take time out alone to role-play situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This role-playing will send messages to your subconscious and help your inner-self change. Remember your subconscious will do exactly what you tell it to do. So choose to tell it only positive things.

6: Learn to take risks. How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how good you think they are, or how impressed you were by them. As a daily exercise try this: Approach a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it! Now I am more than aware that you will find this incredibly hard at first. However, believe me it will work wonders for you.

7: Build empathy with those around you. A huge part of social anxiety and shyness is the level of self-consciousness that you feel. You assume that everyone is talking and thinking about you, forming negative opinions and putting you down. Of course this is untrue and is just a result of your current negative thought processes. To alleviate this self-consciousness try to focus 100% on the person you are dealing with. Listen intently to what they are saying and show a genuine interest in what they want and need. This empathy has the benefit of allowing you to distance yourself from your self-consciousness and will also have the added benefit of making you appear to be someone that people will love to be around.

Develop your listening skills and be genuinely empathetic. There is absolutely nothing more seductive and attractive than being truly listened too. You can become a real people magnet if you remember to focus outward and consequently your self-doubt and shyness will disappear.

8: Work on your body language. Try to concentrate on maintaining eye contact with the person you are talking to. This will give you the appearance of being likeable and trustworthy especially if you can combine it with a genuine sincere smile. Try to mirror their body language as well, including the speed and tone of their voice, as well as gestures and movements. This will of course take practice but as we have discussed many times, the more you practice, the more your subconscious will start to take care of these things on your behalf.

9: Challenge the negative behaviour of those around you. This could well be the hardest thing to change in your life. You may well have got yourself stuck in a rut and as such you may have inadvertently surrounded yourself with negative people. It is not your fault, nor indeed is it theirs. If you recognise negative behaviour in your friends or family then do not be afraid to challenge them. I am aware that there are people out there who look at any form of “self help” as being lame or cheesy. They are wrong, simple as that. Just take the time to look at the most successful people in any field and ask them whether they think being cool and confident is lame.

10: Finally, never, ever forget yourself! In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, concentrating on amending your current behaviours and thought patterns, you might forget yourself, and allow others to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you. You are an amazing human being, try to make sure you treat yourself that way.

Winning the war with shyness and social anxiety takes practice and self-discipline, but it is definitely well worth the fight as the results are life changing. Increased confidence and self-esteem, along with great social skills will mean you will be living the life you truly deserve. You will wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security knowing that no feeling of shyness or social anxiety can get in the way of you achieving your desires.

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